Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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