Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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