the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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