apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
