quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
