Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Just puked most of my soul out..
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
