i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Panties = found
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
