before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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