i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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