i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
