i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
