U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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