haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
