I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
