i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
