I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
