the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
