She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
