Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I want a musical about memes.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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