Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
