we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize