Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
