90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
