Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
operation harelip BJ is a go
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
