so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
