OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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