She is in my trunk
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
