Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
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