She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
