You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
