Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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