i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
