Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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