The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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