The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
