Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
