Sorry, I don't speak sober.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
you had me at cake vodka
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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