She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
