By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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