She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
