Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
