tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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