Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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