It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
