I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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