He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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