Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
