It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
