So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
