My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
