nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
