ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
