my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
