"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
