Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
